Simon Sinek is my hero. Idealist. Brilliant. Great communicator and motivational speaker. He teaches businesses—and their leaders—to start with the ‘why’. He explains this purpose driven starting point here.
If this is your first visit to my site you may be wondering: ‘what’s, this all about?’. Let me tell you my ‘why’.
There are many things that break my heart in our world. It’s all too easy to focus on the negative and dwell on injustice, cruelty and pain. But as a human being we can only focus on so many problems per day. I have one singular focus. One issue that taps me on the shoulder in the morning. One problem that if we solved it would solve so many other problems. And unfortunately, the story surrounding this ‘problem’ comes infused with toxic shame.
The problem is emotional health.
The first time this issue resonated was Daniel Goleman’s groundbreaking book: Emotional Intelligence. Before you run away and think this site isn’t for you, stop! Wait a second. Finish this article. If by the end I haven’t convinced you, it’s okay. When you are ready to come back, I’ll be here, ready and waiting. First, let’s discuss my Superpower.
Everyone has a Superpower. Even if you’re not quite sure how to define yours yet, it doesn’t mean it’s not there. Do you remember the cartoon the Smurfs? You remember how each Smurf had a unique name that described their role in Smurf Village? That’s a story built on human ability. Remember how people’s last names were descriptions? Baker? Blacksmith? Butcher? For thousands of years, people dwelled together, each one assigned to their role.
What about today? You could blame the population explosion, technological advances or other variables. But the fact remains. A lot of
people are cruising and don’t perceive their purpose in life. They spend their day distracting themselves from the emotional pain of loneliness. Many people are scrambling to find their place in this complicated world.
The good news? With technology, it’s easier to align your Superpower with your role, interest and desires. In the past the Water Boy may have wished to be the Storyteller, but there existed no means to fulfill that wish.
In a few short years, everyone has opportunity at their fingertips. But now comes choice paralysis. When you can be or do anything you want how do you decide?
That’s where I come in. One major obstacle blocks people from living a purpose driven life. Emotional intelligence. Our emotional map. Tony Robbins refers to this as our blueprint. A blueprint is the map we follow. It tells us how to think and feel about anything and everything. You may not have heard this. Or you’ve heard but didn’t know how to help yourself. There’s knowledge here to integrate: We have complete control over our emotional map.
I know, I know. This sounds scary. If you’ve read this far, you may feel torn. Part of you may feel scared. You may not know exactly how to label this emotion. Or some may not even realize an emotion is driving our belief systems. Take a deep breath. You’re in a safe space. I’m here to help you access your Superpower.
Imagine your mind is a car. And for most of your life, your dad has been driving the car. You may feel hungry, but you can’t just pull over at the next stop to order something to eat. You must wait until your dad is hungry. Because he’s driving, he has complete control over the car and when you might stop.
Now, imagine various possibilities. Let’s say you ask your dad nicely, “Please, Dad can you stop? I’m hungry.” How will he respond? Will he get angry? Will he ignore you? Will he laugh at you? We all have different upbringings and father figures in our lives. How he responds will be unique to your life and experiences. An echo of the mental and emotional patterns you’ve developed since childhood. Regardless of the actual specifics of your dad’s response, the result is the same. You’re in a state of helplessness. You’re not driving the car, your dad is. Regardless of his response, you have no control over the outcome. You sit in the passenger seat, helpless to the driver’s decision. Will he stop and get you something to eat? Or will you remain hungry?
Many people interact with their mind and emotions from this ‘victim’ state. Their dad—or their caregiver during childhood—has been driving forever. They never imagined an alternative. They spend their entire lives sitting in the passenger seat. Their dad drives and they’re terrified of taking the wheel. Or they believe the wheel is not theirs to take. Believing a story that emotions come from a ‘secret’ part of ourselves. That we’re ‘born this way’.
For years I’ve been reading, researching, studying and meditating. Studying thoughts, emotions and behaviors. So many people have spent so much money and so many years studying this. It would take too much time to reference them all here. But as my mind grew. As my emotions changed. As I took over writing my own map, I realized something important. Something life changing. A critical responsibility I couldn’t walk away from. Something that terrified me at first. My mind warmed up to the challenge, though. I realized I needed to accept this role and fulfill my purpose.
What is it?
It’s my Superpower.
I’m about to tell you something that might bore you, so don’t run away yet. It’s this: I love math. I love studying. I love reading. I love learning. I love dissecting information, pulling it apart and figuring out complex systems.
Okay, that wasn’t so bad, right? That’s me and DOESN’T NEED TO BE YOU. Guess what? There are a few other things I love, too. Now, these you might find more interesting.
I love stories. I love sharing. I love taking complicated systems and simplifying them for young people. I love humor. I love speaking. I love getting excited about cool ideas. I love motivating people to live happier, more fulfilling lives. I love teaching in simple ways the interesting stuff scientists’ study.
Did you know that 21% of the U.S. population are illiterate? That 1 out of 5 people in America can’t read or write? This statistic boggles my mind. It makes me sad. It pains my heart. If I couldn’t read, I would have never arrived at this place of emotional healing and understanding. My mind would still be a passenger while forces I didn’t understand drove me crazy.
Now, I know I’m one person and can’t fix this problem overnight. Illiteracy is systemic. It’s part of a problem that continues generation after generation. But, along with my obsessions listed above, I spent 20 years managing restaurants. And in those 20 years studying leadership skills I picked up a few things. One thing I learned is that children are ill-equipped to enter the work force. This is sad. We haven’t reached a place where robots do all manual labor for us. We still need to help each other make food, fix the plumbing, build houses, etc.
Kids are entering the workforce at sixteen, having not been set up for success. Advertisers and corporations have steered our minds for so long. They grab our attention, using emotional forces to fuel instant gratification. We’ve forgotten our true purpose. The sixteen-year-olds discover that work isn’t always fun. They spend so much time searching for distraction to escape emotional distress. All because they were never taught HOW to be the driver. All their friends are passengers too. This is the way life is. They’re believing a story that someone started telling years ago. Buy more stuff and you’ll be happy. Guaranteed, or your money back!
Let’s sum up my Superpower so you can understand my purpose. In one sentence it’s this: My gift is the ability to teach complicated subjects to children in a simple manner. If that sounds too simple, then you’ve gotten the point.
Now, why is this so important? And what am I teaching that all children need to learn?
There’s an adage, you don’t know what you don’t know. Let’s illustrate it this way: Does a snake knows what it feels like to stub its toe on a rock? No. It would need feet before it realized the value of shoes.
Likewise, when it comes to emotional health or intelligence, children don’t know what they don’t know. Growing up, I experienced a lot of emotional turmoil and pain. Looking back, it could have been reduced or eliminated if I had understood these concepts. Unfortunately, there was no one in my life who understood how an emotional map works. They didn’t know what questions to ask. They didn’t know how to teach me to take control of my mind and stop letting the old automatic thoughts drive my car.
